Things I Want To Look Back When I’m 50

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When I slept with loads of balloon

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When I had to play the guitar unprepared at the start of the event while waiting for the Dean

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Having no sleep the night before our Acquaintance Party

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And there was a balloon party!

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When Choco performed our favorate “First Cut is the Deepest”

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 A classmate who imitated Michael Jackson

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I love this

When I’m 50, I know I’d remeber my younger days as short but sweet. I have always wanted a happy and contented life when I grow old. I know I am on the right steps. Life is innately good.  

Published in: on July 31, 2009 at 7:15 pm  Leave a Comment  

All I Need is a Little Black Dress

I am a dreamer. I am a thinker. But I don’t think I make sense most of the time. Sometimes, being a dreamer and a thinker is a liability since I trip over things and am forgetful about the real and practical world I live in.

Here I am, well rounded girl, with clear life goals, in love with life, happy. I’d love to write and tell that I am this person all the time. I’d love to actively pursue my love for writing, but I cannot. There are only two punctuation marks I know by heart: put a comma (,) so you can breathe and a period (.) so you can stop. In the real score of life, I feel I only need these two to be able to keep going.

The rain starts to fall outside. Melancholy has no dress code but today, I wear a black dress. Just because I wear black please don’t ostracize me. I am not plain, boring or sorrowful. I am just on a search for a much brighter color.

Sometimes, all I need is a little black dress to feel good.

Published in: on July 27, 2009 at 6:47 pm  Comments (5)  

What I Mean When I say “I Need a Hug”

After deliriously crying in silence last night, I was able to convince myself that I need a hug. A hug may be in a form of a simple squeeze or an intimate cuddle. The doer can be anyone, as long as he or she is close to my heart and could be able to contain and ease whatever emotion I am in battle at that very moment.

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I did not know that I love hugging someone and being hugged by someone until a close friend told me I do. I was not conscious that unconsciously, I have been practicing this act and there are some close friends who can notice. Hug is my element.  A single hug can keep me going. I don’t think I can live a day without giving or getting a simple squeeze from someone. It helps me remember and appreciate that I am not alone. That the world can be friendly amidst negativeness and contradictoriness.

I cannot count how many times I have openly told a friend that I need a hug. I feel fortunate that none of them were rejected. In fact, a close friend of mine offered a hug last night and she told me she needs one too. We were communicating through text so as of now, someone owes me a hug and I owe someone a hug. This reminds me of one of my favorate law subjects which is Obligations and Contracts. My task is to demand specific performance later.

When I say I need a hug I mean two things: either I am sad or I am happy. I need a hug because I need you to assure me that I am not alone, that you consider my being, that you care about my existence. I need a hug because you assured me I am not alone, because you considered my being, and because you cared about my existence. In the same way how I perceive others needing a hug too, even just once in their lifetime.

What happens if the only person you have always wanted to hug could not hug you back?

I refuse to comprehend the scenario. It must be sad.

Published in: on July 23, 2009 at 6:10 pm  Comments (9)