What’s New and What’s Old?

After visiting my old email attached to this site and discovered a comment from a lost reader who bumped to this old abandoned blog, somehow, the desire to write started to build again. It’s really hard to gather thoughts, put them into writing, most specially if you’ve been through the hardest times of your life. Yes, for the first time I admit, I still feel devastated with the death of my father. I still madly couldn’t accept the fact that it only took him 3 months to live after he was diagnosed of cancer. Yes, I’m mad and I bleed and I just miss my father so much.

Alright, what’s new and what’s old? I don’t know why my fingers came to type this words. Perhaps my instinct is driving me to something my mind hadn’t even  pondered upon. Yeah, what’s new and what’s old? … I can’t figure out. Really.

I’m sitting in the dark corner of my dormitory room. The clock reads 1:32am. I try to believe that this isn’t one of those sleepless nights. I was trying to finish my Powerpoint presentation for a report and failed so I ended up browsing old things, including my old email.  Aside from the comment thing from a lost reader  I mentioned earlier, I found an old letter from an old friend which reminded me that after all these months of trying to pretend that I’m okay, I forgot that I missed a lot of happenings in my life. Just after Papa’s cremation, I went back to a call center job and  immediately enrolled in law school for my third year. I never had really given myself the time to mourn. Maybe the reason  until now I wasn’t able to properly move on.

Well maybe writing again would help me vent my unheard emotions and release the hidden pain  within me. Honestly, I miss this. Haven’t done this for a long time and it feels new writing on an old blog again.. 

To jessforget: thanks for the comment. 😀

Published in: on September 9, 2010 at 5:00 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. hi nen!! I want my comment to be brief, but as usual, I can’t promise kasi baka mapa-emo na naman ako. I read your previous post pero di ako naka-comment non, bec sobra akong emo ng mabasa ko yun. anyways, we miss you nen!!

  2. thanks nuts! I miss you too!

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